I have a couple of friends who have tried Internet dating, with varying degrees of success. They've met some interesting people, but those people have rarely been much like their profiles on the dating sites.

This set me thinking. I've just completed a degree in Psychology, and one of the things that was apparent from that course is that self-descriptions are fundamentally inaccurate. When people say "I'm an attractive, fun-loving, bubbly person with a high IQ", what they usually mean is that they want to be that sort of person. They may even be trying to be that sort of person. But they probably aren't that sort of person, at least not yet.

And there's no such thing as an objective self-description. You might believe that you're interesting, and some of your friends might find you interesting, but some other people will probably find you dull. That's just the way it is; personalities are largely socially constructed, and while to one person you'll be a tedious bore, another will hang rapturously onto your every word.

Crucially, there's no way of knowing this in advance of meeting someone. Much of this information comes across as non-verbal communication (body language and so on), and is impossible to determine in advance from a self-description and a small photo.

Then there's exaggeration. If the form you fill in when applying to one of these sites gives you the choice between "average", "quite attractive", "very attractive" and "Angelina Jolie dipped in strawberry yoghurt", which one will you choose? Tellingly, there never seems to be the option of "minger" or "moose" in the forms. You'd be forgiven for thinking that most of the people on these sites are some kind of super-beings, perfect in every fashion. The reality is obviously rather different, yet expectations on both sides seem to be unrealistically high.

Despite these apparent flaws, I had assumed that dating sites were chugging along nicely in spite of my reservations, but yesterday I read a news story alleging that some of the largest dating sites in the USA have been acting fraudulently. The allegations are that these sites sent their own employees on dates, invented profiles to make it look as though they had more subscriptions than they actually had, and tailored imaginary profiles to match those of people whose membership was about to expire, to encourage them to re-subscribe. The sites concerned have so far denied the allegations.

Regardless of whether or not the allegations are true, my criticisms stand. Dating sites are, if anything, mis-named. They can work as 'friendship' sites; in fact my friends have kept in touch with a couple of their previous Internet dates and now see them socially. But romance - or even plain old lust - isn't likely to be found online, except perhaps by playing the numbers game.

Save your subscription fees for the gym, night classes at your local college, or the pub. And if you don't already know it, learn the art of conversation. Ultimately, it all comes down to real-world attraction.